Just As I Am

Just as I am, I come.

And how is that?

Wounded, weary, worn, wondering, wandering, weak?

Groping, gasping, groaning, grinding, gripped with fear, guilt-ridden?

Suffering and succumbing to and from the consequences of bad choices?

I come.

“Nothing in my hands, I bring. Simply to Thy cross I cling.” (Augustus Toplady, Rock of Ages)

You have heard and said, “They made their bed; let them lie in it.”

“It’s his own doing and undoing.”

“It serves her right.”

“What goes around comes around.”

“You will answer to God for that.”

“You got what was coming to you.”

“I hope you do not sleep too well tonight.”

“Just as I am, I come.”

Billy Graham committed his life to Christ in 1934 in a revival meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina, led by evangelist Mordecai Ham hearing the altar call song “Just as I Am”.

It is a great summary of the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 38.

All of these sentiments are at the heart of the psalm. Whether it is the hand of God directly or his own sense of guilt, the singer is suffering on the inside and the outside for his own foolishness and is facing the consequences of his own decisions.

Yet, in all of this, he knows that God will hear him and so, he prays.

It is in grace that we find the wide place …

… a place where God’s hand still graciously guides us. It is a place where we follow, sometimes tumbling, sometimes straying, sometimes staggering, but always, though faltering, aware and committed to returning to the way … the way of gracious guidance.

At the time when offerings are poured out, the psalmist pours out his soul.

When the grain came to the temple as an offering, a tenth of it was burned on the altar as a memorial offering. The rest was consumed by the priests. This was a song to be sung for the memorial offering.

I am confused, I must say, not by the offering and not by the sentiments of the psalm, but by the point of connection.

Of these words and emotions, Matthew Henry comments, “Nothing will disquiet the heart of a good man so much as the sense of God’s anger. The way to keep the heart quiet, is to keep ourselves in the love of God. But a sense of guilt is too heavy to bear; and would sink men into despair and ruin, unless removed by the pardoning mercy of God.”

So, what is a good man or woman to do?

He or she runs to God in worship — whatever outlet of worship is available and thrusts the guilt and all the accompanying insecurity, despair, depression, feelings and reality of persecutions, and anything connected or perceived to be connected to sin before God.

The direction of the psalmist’s life was toward God. The path was crooked and broken, but the direction was consistent.

He dealt honestly with his failures and his guilt and never grew callous or insensitive toward his flaws. Nor did he take God’s mercy for granted or ever think, for a moment, that he could live without it.

How dare I ask for such mercy?
How dare I be so audacious as to suggest that I be spared?
How dare I come as an errant child to a forgiving dad?
How dare He so graciously lavish mercy upon me?

The grand dare.
The grace of God.

Read it slowly.

Meditate as you pray the psalmist’s words as your own.

“O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger,
nor discipline me in your wrath!
For your arrows have sunk into me,
and your hand has come down on me.’’

‘’There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
For my iniquities have gone over my head;
like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.’’

‘’My wounds stink and fester
because of my foolishness,
I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
all the day I go about mourning.
For my sides are filled with burning,
and there is no soundness in my flesh.
I am feeble and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.’’

‘’O Lord, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
and the light of my eyes — it also has gone from me.
My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
and my nearest kin stand far off.’’

‘’Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek my hurt speak of ruin
and meditate treachery all day long.’’

‘’But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,
like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
I have become like a man who does not hear,
and in whose mouth are no rebukes.’’

‘’But for you, O LORD, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me,
who boast against me when my foot slips!”’’

‘’For I am ready to fall,
and my pain is ever before me.
I confess my iniquity;
I am sorry for my sin.
But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty,
and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
Those who render me evil for good
accuse me because I follow after good.’’

‘’Do not forsake me, O LORD!
O my God, be not far from me!
Make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation!’’

(Psalm 38 ESV)

Just as I am, I come.

The human condition, with its full range of emotions, is neither taboo nor unspoken in ancient scripture. It is acknowledged and given voice in song — song that is available as prayer — prayer that is not just religious platitude nor insincere piety, but yearning, longing, agonizing, expressive, authentic, real, raw, and hopeful.

All of this is part of the powerful mix that becomes prayer and worship, not because we have perfected the right emotions, but because we have directed them God-ward.

Just as I am, I come!

Charlotte Elliot offers us the sentiments of her hymn to accompany our heart prayers.

Born in 1789, she was weak and feeble in body.

However, according to her biography in Hymnary.org, “she possessed a strong imagination, and a well-cultured and intellectual mind. Her love of poetry and music was great and is reflected in her verse. Her hymns number about 150, a large percentage of which are in common use.”

We remember her most for that hymn that was sung in thousands of Billy Graham evangelistic meetings at the time of invitation, “Just As I Am.”

It was at a time of self-doubt and spiritual crisis when she was unsure whether or not God really accepted her. It was out of the conversations with Jesus that was prompted by that moment, that she wrote the text of the hymn.

Hymnologist, Kenneth Osbeck wrote that Just As I Am had “touched more hearts and influenced more people for Christ than any other song ever written.”

Just as I am — without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am — and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To Thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am — though toss’d about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am — poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need, in Thee to find,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am — Thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because Thy promise I believe,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am — Thy love unknown
Has broken every barrier down;
Now to be Thine, yea, Thine alone,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am — of that free love
The breadth, length, depth, and height to prove,
Here for a season, then above,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

• Charlotte Elliot