There is nothing in my instincts to pray such a prayer.
But then, there is nothing in my instinctual drive to cling ...
... extinguishable
"living" that
lives beyond the moment.
I pray to resist that drive, that urge, that urgency to
survive that
extinguishes life.
Some day, that will mean laying down my body, but,
today it means ...
laying down this body of sin,
of self,
of sensual necessity that says,
"I am thee," but
is not me.
Nor is it Thee in me, Oh God who knows
and gives
and lives
in and through
all who die this way.
I prayed, "Kill me," and
Thou didst not...
and would not.
You said, "Just die and live," and
I tried it and I did and there You were!
You handed me a cross and said,
"Go carry it."
And I asked, "What is it?"
And You said,
"It is the pain and suffering and pain and disgust,
and ugliness, and bad choices, and bitter gall,
and nasty words, thoughts, and accusations,
and hateful hurts of those You will meet today."
And I said, "Why should I?"
And You said, "Because I did and do and you said that
You wanted to follow me and this is what we carry."
And I said, "The burden is too heavy."
And You said, "I know."
And I asked, "So?"
And You said, "Go ... I am with you."
And so ...
I did ... at least that day and then I asked,
"What do I do with them?"
And You said, "Bring them to me,"
and I replied, "But You already have all of these,"
and You said, "Mind Your own business, I've got it handled."
I said. "OK, You are the Master,"
and You smiled and said, "I know."
Master, this really feels and lot like living and You said,
"I know. I told you so. What you though was living,
was not.
It distorts your view because the lens is sprinkled with mirrors
always pointing back at you and
seeing life and events and people from
ego and self-interest and it is not in your
self-interest to be
that interested in yourself.
Deadsville!
Die to Deadsville and live!"
And so, Lord, I die today,
I nail Deadsville and my citizenship there with all my credentials and investments to
Your cross.
Thanks for my cross. It fits me.
I sort of like it.
I know I love this new life You have given me and
I really love these people You keep bringing into my life.
Help me to bear their burdens until I can get them to You and ...
Thank You for bearing them and mine.
I am starting to get it ...
It is in dying that we are born
To eternal life.
I look forward to seeing You face to face some day,
When I have laid down this body of flesh and this cross.
Thanks for the invitation and for paying the admission price.
Thank You, my Jesus,
My Lord, my Savior, my Friend, and My Brother,
Amen.
_________________________________________
"A community is the mental and spiritual condition of knowing that the place is shared, and that the people who share the place define and limit the possibilities of each other's lives. It is the knowledge that people have of each other, their concern for each other, their trust in each other, the freedom with which they come and go among themselves." - Wendell Berry
"The only sustainable city—and this, to me, is the indispensable ideal and goal—is a city in balance with its countryside." - Wendell Berry
"It may be that
when we no longer know what to do
that we have come to our real work."
- Wendell Berry
"The secret of my identity is hidden in the love and mercy of God. "- Thomas Merton
"Ultimately the only way that I can be myself is to become identified with him in whom is hidden the reason and fulfillment of my existence ." - Thomas Merton
"O death, when you seized my Lord, you lost your grip on me." - Augustine
'Twas reading of roses
On Poetry Day .
Other than color,
There's not much to say.
---------------------------------------
I guess I should stop
This incessant silliness.
Whether I do or not ...
Take an educated guess.
As the psalmist cries out for vindication, mercy, and help, he also let's this slip,
"O God, you know my folly;
the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you."
-Psalm 69:5 ESV
What could be more liberating than an honest relationship with God where we have nothing to hide and no need to hide anything?