Oh God, who sees me, knows me, and loves me while seeing through my pretensions.
There is nothing I can tell you about myself that you do not already know.
I am laid bare by your penetrating gaze and your Word divides by thoughts and attitudes, sorting them out in ways I cannot even comprehend.
You know all about me and still I have the urge to hide and cover myself with the leaves of shame.
Crack my façade, dissolve the masks I wear. Give me the grace to be real today, real and vulnerable, and open and compassionate with myself and others.
Your love validates my existence and your mercy gives me courage to embrace the ugliness I see in myself, the impurity of my motives, the haughtiness of my words, the impulsiveness of my poor choices.
They are a part of all I have been and am becoming and I am not stuck in them, nor do they define me.
You define me and in freeing me to be me and become more, Your message from Jesus to me and through me that there is a possibility of joyous repentance and kingdom purpose ring true.
You know me and yet you choose me, in love, to be one of yours! I cannot wrap my mind around the grace of it, but I receive it that I may give it.
Make me, like Francis, an instrument of your peace today. I am not worthy, but I am available.
Because I follow Jesus, I ask this in His Name. Amen.
Spiritual Disciplines for Highly Distracted Souls - That is my next book ... well, one of the next ones --- if I can concentrate enough to finish it .
Seriously now, some of you know exactly what I mean.
And you are the folks who are my kin in this particular skin.
We struggle to focus, but we must focus to struggle.
We know the deep value of grace in our lives because we guzzle it like cool water on a scorching day in the sun. It is cooling balm to our blistered flesh. It is food for our souls when we are starving.
God, if my concentration is what is required to seek and find you, I am in trouble. Actually, I am in trouble ... have been ... will be, but I am not hopeless.
My concentration comes through distraction, through poly-focus, and through serendipitous discovery.
I see you in the commonalities of multiplicities.
I hear your voice arising from the cacophony of sounds in a dissonant chorus of groaning cries.
I see your face in the contorted faces of broken people.
I grasp your Word in the recurring themes of unlikely sources that echo your truth and highlight the verses that I read just yesterday or this morning as I struggled to keep my mind from wandering.
I sit as long as I can and listen. I walk as far as I can without veering off the path. I keep coming back to you and you are always there.
It is neither my mood nor my mind that guide me, Oh Lord of clarity, but your ever present hand and upon you, I lean.
I will follow you today. I commit my day to you.
I am easily distracted and often torn. I am likely to bounce from thought to thought and project to project, but I know that you are present in the midst to order my days and my moments ....
And in the precious, fleeting stillness of this moment, I commit all my moments and days ... and this day, in particular, to You.
There is a purpose statement buried in these words - a purpose for our final third or fourth of life:
"... until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come..."
We may have entered the time when we are not primarily building our own ministries and legacies, but those of the next generations. In many ways, that is always the case at every stage of life ... but it becomes more of a priority as we age.
We say, "but I am not done building our own," and God says, "It never was your own in the first place."
That becomes clearer with the years.
It never was mine to build for myself.
And then, there comes great joy in proclaiming to another generation.
That is where I want to invest the next phase of my existence on this planet.
" O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come.
Your righteousness, O God,
reaches the high heavens.
You who have done great things,
O God, who is like you?
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities
I am a dues-paying member of the impatient club. I get impatient with myself, with individuals, with slow service, with shoddy service, with life, and sometimes, with God.
I get impatient when people's attitudes don't turn on a dime, when people don't see the world the way I see it (and think that God does), when people are impatient with me, and with about anything else I have the capacity to be impatient with:
Lack of funds ...
Criticism ....
My own critical spirit ...
Long lines ...
People just being human and flawed ...
My own flaws ....
With technology ...
With lack of technology ...
When technology out-guesses me ...
When technology does not know what I am thinking ...
Injustice ...
Justice without mercy.
It is a lose/lose situation and, when I am most impatient, it looks like I have lots of enemies stacked up against me.
I can name many ... and most are headquartered in my head. My club dues are paid .
The dues are priced very high.
I can pray/sing with the psalmist the same prayer/song he prayed/sang.
It is sometimes a hurried prayer for God to hurry.
I just pray that I come to the same point of resolution.
Amen.
Psalm 70
English Standard Version
To the choirmaster. Of David, for the memorial offering.
Make haste, O God, to deliver me! O Lord, make haste to help me! Let them be put to shame and confusion who seek my life! Let them be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt! Let them turn back because of their shame who say, “Aha, Aha!”
May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, “God is great!” But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay!
Various enemies of Superman, as they appear on the cover of Superman Villains: Secret Files and Origins #1 (June 1998, art by Dan Jurgens).
What does it take to bring sworn, bitter, ideological enemies together?
A common threat.
Jesus was the common threat to the Pharisees and the Herodians. What did the Hasidim, the holy, separate, pious ones have to do with those who collaborated with Rome?
They both valued the equilibrium and stability of their measured, static, and adversarial rivalry. They knew each others' self-interests and limits and were unwilling for anyone to upset things with a radical and compassionate lifestyle message that could catch hold of the hearts of people and upset their carefully weighted system.
Jesus rocks some pretty big boats and those who take the calling and implications of Jesus' calling seriously today, do the same, and can expect to be attacked from all sides of the status quo.
"Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there with a withered hand. And they watched Jesus, to see whether he would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse him. And he said to the man with the withered hand, “Come here.” And he said to them, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to kill?” But they were silent. And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. The Pharisees went out and immediately held counsel with the Herodians against him, how to destroy him."
- Mark 3:1-6 ESV
Duel between two enemies; here, the characters of Eugene Onegin and Vladimir Lensky from the novel, Eugene Onegin.
There is no payoff to the old way of regarding our enemies and retaliating against the.
On the other hand, initiators, instigators, innovators, and imitators of Jesus' Kingdom have an eternal insight and reward that informs this life and the life to come.
I think that people, who may not have regard for the Bible as scripture or believe in divine direction, may often practice the principle of Proverbs 3:5 without knowing that they are obeying the scripture,
"Lean not on thine own understanding."
Every intelligent person I know bows in the presence of the unknowns of the universe. There is a common sense of awe at the wonder of the cosmos and the paradoxical nature of truth.
We tune our harps to what we know and set our compasses by given understanding of the polar realities and magnetic forces that govern us. We do that daily, but we also throw up our hands and surrender to the persistent gnawing of undiscovered forces and undefined principles of physics, mathematics, and even more mundane concepts that we know to be true without knowing why.
We comply and we continue to seek those universal theories of everything.
I know of no single thinking person inside or outside of the realm of faith who leans entirely on his or her own understanding ... except in areas where pride overcomes good sense.
We all take direction, follow laws we do not see the sense of, and follow orders we have not devised or whose meaning we have not discerned.
We do so because we often know that our lives are bettered in the process and we appreciate the finite nature of our own understanding. That is why we have experts who spend their whole lives studying minutia and sharing tidbits of their discoveries with the rest of us who are either generalists or specialists in other fields of intellectual or practical pursuit.
And every expert will inform us that there is more yet to discover than has been, as yet, grasped.
Somehow, in the sciences, this is seen as a great adventure.
It is, likewise, in the pursuit of spiritual discovery and the great adventure of knowing God.
We know enough to trust and so, the first part of the verse says,
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart."
That is a bigger leap of faith for many folks than the first affirmation. We are all on different paths and places along our journeys. This is something we must accept in each other. However, in my life, verse 6 has shown itself true, over and over again:
"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
So, once I do know something, and know it with humble tentativeness, I go with what I know and wonder at the unknowns, trusting God, leaning not on my limited understanding, but acknowledging His leadership, caring guidance, and benevolent faithfulness to direct my paths.
It was about 3 or 4 in the morning and I heard movement just to the right of my pillow. I looked down into the rather tall trash can and there was a little mouse friend.
Since he could not get out, I did not know how he got in.
Well, since I knew what it was, I turned off the light so he and I could both go back to sleep.
When I got up, I took him to the field and tipped the trash can. He came out, sniffed my feet and then, sprinted about 100 yards for a squirrel hole.
I thought, "He will probably be back tonight."
My wife said she had put him out the front door numerous times.
Now, how did he get in? I speculate that he climbed up the blanket, walked across my chest, smelled the banana peel in the can, jumped in, and then, exclaimed, "How did I get in this predicament?"
Is there a mouse about your house?
------------------------------------------
You ask:
Where is the moral of this story?
I answer:
I don't know. I did not really have one.
You say:
I think I will find one.
I say:
Have at it, but don't give yourself a headache.
That being said, mice can teach us a thing or two.
Our spiritual droughts and sense of distance from the Holy One may not be derived from a lack of religious activity or belief. They may emerge from our collective insensitivity to injustice and participation in what brutalizes people.
We need to hear the news, process world events, and pray for our world through the missional lens God's intention to build His Kingdom of love and righteousness with justice and shalom.
Instead, our first lenses are usually our own rather immediate temporal interests, our own security and, if peace, then peace within our own borders.
This is not a hopeless admonition. Nothing had shortened the hand of God -- only our perception of how far His hand can reach.
But we are separated, collectively and for some, individually because of collective and individual iniquity. We have blood on our hands and most of us are not intentionally drawing it' we are oblivious to it.
Yet we wonder, where God is.
I'd suggest reading the comments below for a word of hope!
"Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save,
or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face from you
so that he does not hear.
For your hands are defiled with blood
and your fingers with iniquity;
your lips have spoken lies;
your tongue mutters wickedness.
No one enters suit justly;
no one goes to law honestly;
they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies,
they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity.
They hatch adders' eggs;
they weave the spider's web;
he who eats their eggs dies,
and from one that is crushed a viper is hatched.
Their webs will not serve as clothing;
men will not cover themselves with what they make.
Great leaders come from unlikely places and walks of life. "Taken from the sheepfolds," the lowliest of servants, dirtiest, least regarded, often maligned, stereotypical crude and rude, one is placed in a position of influence. David brings the skill sets he used in leading sheep to lead people.
First, in his case, he must win them over.
No kingdom or authority was handed to him by any government by decree. He was not appointed by any predecessor, nor was he offered any elegance or incentives to lead.
At every step along the way, he led by leading. He gathered the people by igniting hope in their hearts and winning their confidence.
He was skillful with the skills he had learned along the paths of righteousness where he had led his sheep and been led by his unseen Shepherd.
Real leadership is humble and serving. It is sacrificial and influential. It is credible and upright and it is always very hard.
Yes, I do want to be remembered, but I also know that eventually, I will be forgotten.
That is OK. What I really want is to contribute something that blends with other somethings and makes a difference in the world for good.
Then, I want that new something that is blended with other somethings to take on a life and identity of its own and grow and be remembered for what it is, something positive, affirming, and compassionate.
That is what I really want to be remembered.
Then, if someone thinks of Old Tom, I hope they will think of that.
My stone will read the day of my birth and the day of my death, but all the living will have been done in the tiny dash between.
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