"First, do no harm." - Hippocrates
Something happened about 5 years ago.
I struggled with it and still do because it represents something larger.
... not political, although it can be ...
... something holistic about violence and something inside the best of us that must be bridled, processed, understood, and harnessed for its purpose.
Two nice guys go into a movie theater and a disagreement arises.
Both lose their tempers.
Something boils up inside of one of them probably unrelated to the incident. One has a bag of popcorn; the other a gun. One throws the popcorn in frustration; other other fires his gun in some sort of misguided compulsion for self-defense.
His life is ruined; the other man's life is gone. Two families are deprived of fathers and grandfathers and are devastated.
All the witnesses are traumatized. Something is dreadfully wrong with this picture ...
It only took a second and a split second decision to change so many lives.
And because it happened in a nice middle class place with nice middle class people, we all know about it and react ...
We all have opinions.
But I can tell you that it happens all the time. Every day, someone loses a loved one over something stupid. I see it and I shake my head.
Personally --- only personally .... I do not trust myself with a weapon ... and I am a nice non-violent guy .... but so were those two guys as far as I can tell. I do not want to be violent to harm another human, even in self defense. I would rather be harmed ....
But that is one part of me. The other knows that the chemicals in my body and my old selfish nature will react rather than respond if left to their own devices in certain situations. I have the capacity to lash out with words or weapons or willfulness.
I need spiritual centering in the Ultimate, the One, the core of my life or I do not trust myself even with my own words.
I need grace .... and so do those families who have suffered tragedy .... and so do the people I meet this week who will never make the news and will hardly be noticed by the system ... victims and perpetrators who will quickly, almost anonymously, be processed and forgotten.
Not me? I'd never do that?
None of us has finished our lives yet who is reading this or living among us. We cannot know what stupid thing we might do that would bring disrepute upon all that we have been up until that point.
We need to be tidying our own houses on a daily basis, keeping our emotional lives up-to-date along with our spiritual lives. We cannot point a finger without 4 pointing back at us. "Let each man examine himself," the scripture reminds us.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." - Psalm 19:14
It is a daily prayer along with others ...
"May I not bring harm to another human being ..."
"Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace ..."
Every time I am tempted to be smug or self-confident, I try to remember what I am capable of at my worst and to trust the One who can prevent me from traveling that path. This One can make me more than I can be as the contemporary song goes.
There will be some positive outcomes to this public tragedy. There always are.
Some will take time.
Some will go unnoticed.
People will pontificate.
Others will meditate.
I just shake my head.
And I am still trying to decide whether or not to hit the "post" button.
Oh ... why not ... ?
