"The boy chose safety. The man chooses suffering."
I was thumbing through "Shadowlands," a novel by Leonore Fleischer based on William Nicholson's stage play recounting the romance and tragedy of C.S. Lewis and Joy Gresham.
The author places Lewis at his desk at the close of the book, reflecting, writing - perhaps writing his journal which would become, "A Grief Observed."
""Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore, only the life I've lived. Twice in that life, I've been given a choice, as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety. The man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal.""
"Jack Lewis put his pen down and smiled, thinking of Joy. He wished he had read her these words, but never mind. Jack had a feeling she had heard them; she was never far from him now."
It is not pleasant to consider choosing suffering, but safety is no option at the cost of love.
"That's the deal."
See also: Brian Sibley: Through the Shadowlands: The Love Story of C. S. Lewis and Joy Davidman