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March 2010

Habits of the First Half of Life

"It seems, in fact, that, the second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

As much as I love Dostoevsky, I am not buying that ... at least not for my personal collection of life artifacts.

I can see where one might make the observation and where it might be the norm. However, I want to defy it.

One must grant that the resistance to reinventing oneself is heavy and the force of habit is strong. The road to establishing new patterns of thought and practice is uphill and treacherous. But there exists such a path and one can choose to take it.

We preach resurrection hope this Sunday. That means that we do not have to be defined by inertia whether we are objects at rest or in motion.

Centrifugal force is only as strong as our commitment to break free while relying on a Power that is far greater than ourselves.

May your second half be your best.


Life Academy

Life Academy

We dream; we grow;
We move; we flow;
We laugh; we glow.
While here below,
We live in anticipation
Of pomp and circumstance
And graduation.
We are matriculated in the school of life
Articulated by toil and tears and strife.
We are students of all that passes
Work and play, day by day, our classes.
We are classmates with our fellow creatures.
These also are our students and our teachers.
And this is our assignment:
Absolute and total realignment.
And someday through the pain and stress of it.
We will celebrate the gain and success of it.
We dream; we grow and
by God's grace we move and flow
And laugh and glow
While here below,
We live.

Live well.
Live Long.
Prosper and overcome.
Be all that you can be.
You are more special than you know and it is an honor to be considered among your friends.

-          Tom Sims

 


For Your Birthday - Whenever It Is

Happy Birthday

 

The perplexing poles of gratitude and regret,

Pictures in the mind we cannot forget,

Unwritten sonnets, unsung songs,

Unfulfilled wishes, un-righted wrongs.

Tempered and enveloped by words aptly spoken,

Mended hearts which once were broken,

Loves requited, love extended,

Hearts united, truth defended.

All of life is blended in a stew

Of all and everything that comes to you.

Blended and seasoned by all you believe,

Life is all your heart will receive …

By faith, willing, hopeful, and eager.

All that is impressive and all that is meager

Is life, and life is very, very good.

Have a happy, happy birthday. You should.

- Tom Sims

 


Big Day

Big Day

God has a very big day in store for you tomorrow.
You will conquer fear, despair, and sorrow.
You will rise to heights you've never known.
You will sigh and laugh, and sing and groan.
You will live and celebrate your inspired humanity.
You will rise above the dull, monotony of senseless insanity
To soar, to roar with the voice of the lion, to score.
The door is before you, the voice of God whispers, "There is more!"
Tomorrow is yours to face and embrace with wonder.
It is for your voice to shout the victory, to thunder,
"I am here and I have come to conquer this day!
There is no fear that can sway me or turn me from this way!
I am a soldier or love, a warrior of peace, a child of God.
My strength is from above. My joy shall not cease. I stand on the sod
Of a new day ... tomorrow.

Tom Sims

 

 


Be

Later tonight as you prepare to rest, just be.

Being is what you were meant for, made for, and are maturing into.

You are, after all a being, human and developing.

Be yourself. Be REAL - Responsible, Evolving, Authentic, and Loving.

Be what you are becoming as in what you will COME to BE (BE -COME). Your future is as real as your past and present. There are just more obvious unknowns.

Be strong, courageous, honest, and full of wonder.

And don't forget to ... Be-HAVE Be-CAUSE there is a new day tomorrow and we need you on the team.


Fly with Both Wings

I posted a version of this in 2007. As I have been listening to partisan debates, distortions, and distractions lately, it seemed appropriate to review. I find it difficult to entrust leadership to people who call each other names, paraphrase other people's beliefs into less-than-accurate sound bytes, and attack each others characters and motives.

I would rather trust a person of reason and goodwill with whom I disagree than someone who is not courteous or balanced enough to listen to his or her adversaries.

We are in a troubling political climate and entering what may be a nasty campaign season. We will have to dig hard to get accurate information for decision making, but we must do so ... in politics and in life. We cannot depend on commentators or candidates to feed it to us ... we must listen to all sides.

We must do the same in business decisions and in all strategies.

I resist wearing labels such as "Conservative" or "Liberal" with an upper case "C" or "L" to describe my leanings. Sometimes I hear the word, "wing" attached to directional terms such as "left" or "right." I cannot tell you off the top of my head what a "red state" is as opposed to a "blue state" or why they are opposed at all.

Words like these are "deceptive," "misleading," "ambiguous," and "meaningless." But back to the wing metaphor. My grandson brought me one shoe to put on his one day, years ago. I sought to explain to him why he couldn’t go outside with one shoe on and what it might be like to feel lopsided.Then, I thought about airplanes and realized I wouldn't consider getting on a left-winged or right winged airplane. I prefer my aerial transportation with two wings. Balance means a lot to me at that elevation.

I read an interview with a guy today who thought he'd always been on the left wing of a theological issue. Then, he said, a movement emerged that went further to the left and left him in the center. When you are in the center, you might lean to one side or the other, but you are still in the middle.

What is most troubling about the way we debate issues in the public arena is the absence of two vital principles. The first is mutual respect (see The Golden Rule and the Great Commandment). We cannot function without this. We degenerate into a society that no one will what to call home.

The second is reasoned, careful, and balanced thinking that carefully weighs issues from multiple perspectives, thinks independently of "the herd," and seeks win-win solutions.

"Talk of the Nation" had articulate spokespersons for "both" sides of one of the pressing issues of the day several years ago that was before the Supreme Court. Both made sense and I felt a tug of "leaning" as each spoke and ended up in balance after weighing all the arguments.

Definitions are always in flux and that can be confusing.

I don't want to live in a one-winged society. I am not impressed with one winged philosophies and would not feel happy about a brain with a single hemisphere. I want a multitude of counselors helping me look at all sides of any question. This is true in politics, faith issues, business, and our day-to-day decisions.

Proverbs 18:17   says, "The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him."

I think that is by design. Truth is simple, but not simplistic. The best course of action may not always be the most obvious. We need point and counterpoint to make good and wise decisions.

Perhaps that is why the American people as a body politic can be so shifting in their political party loyalties. As a people we know that you can't fly the "airline of state" with one wing - nor a business, nor a life.

If you are a decision maker, make sure you are getting good information and that all of your advisers are not always in 100% agreement. If you are not wrestling with some of the major matters that come before you, you are probably not getting the best out of your own abilities to think clearly and objectively.

We all have biases and they are helpful when they inform us. They are dangerous when they blind us. They are disastrous when the rule us.

Fly with both wings!

How do you fly with both wings?

•    F - Face your own limitations in perspective, knowledge, and ability to know it all. There is a vast storehouse of knowledge that no human will ever possess. The only all-wise and all-knowing one is God and He ha distributed bits of His knowledge widely among diverse peoples.

•    L - Listen carefully to what others are saying. Respect those with whom you disagree and who disagree with you. Consider that people who are wrong about one thing may have insight into something else. Never throw out babies with the bath wash or dismiss the value of people because of your prejudices.

•    Y - Yin/Yang it. Sometimes, I pick up some insights from other philosophies. The truth of a given situation may dwell in the tension between paradoxical opposites and failure to look for it there will deprive you of the truth you seek to make a good decision.


"Lord, catch us off guard today. Surprise us with some moment of beauty or pain so that for at least a moment we may be startled into seeing that you are with us here in all your splendor, always and everywhere, barely hidden, beneath, beyond, within this life we breathe. Amen."  - Frederick Buechner


Cost

COUNT THE COST

There are costs to following Jesus and excuses for not doing so.

Everything of value costs something.

We can think of endless excuses to procrastinate, obstinate, and prevaricate. We'll do anything but drop whatever we are doing and change directions.

It is a control issue - we want to be in control.

Mostly, we want to add - faith and devotion to whatever else we cling to in life.

But discipleship is not an "add-on" to our lives. It is a new center of existence and a new direction for everything. Everything passes through the filter or this new commitment.

It costs everything.

I was ruminating over all this as I drove to the gym before church yesterday and I heard the report on NPR that 38 people had died over a weekend in bombs designed to disrupt the elections in Iraq.

In spite of this, and, by some reports, because of it, record numbers of people came out to vote - defying the threats. Some died.

Sometimes we have a hard time trying to get people to show up in this country when it costs us nothing.

I wonder - If it is too cheap, do we lose any sense of the value of it?





Life Lessons from Dr. Seuss

Much that I needed to know for life, I learned from some very special children's books.

As I said before, Theodor Seuss Geisel was born March 2, 1904.

I was reflecting on the places within us where Dr. Seuss took us and I decided to look at some of his words and how they had affected my life.

"OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
THERE IS FUN TO BE DONE! THERE ARE
POINTS TO BE SCORED. THERE ARE GAMES TO BE WON."


I left home at 18 to go to college. I moved 6 hours from home. It might has well been across the world. It was a cross cultural move for me - from the Richmond with its unique cultural mix to Appalachia.

Then I moved to California.

I have yet to explore all of this state. I have been to many more. There is so much yet to explore.

But there is also the inner territories yet to find. Dr. Seuss said:

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

He brought perspective to the common insecurities of children and adults about who they were. He addressed our anxieties about being authentic.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

We have beginnings and endings, but the endings are beginnings and the beginnings are endings and on and on it goes. I do  a lot of funerals. I collect stories - stories of well over 1000 people I knew but never met. Funerals are happy-sad times because  the memories are sweet and the endings are bitter. It occurs to me that I frequently employ a principle he taught as I lead people in the celebration of the life of a loved one.

Dr. Seuss said:

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

I sometimes have tough questions with which to wrestle. I meet people every day who are embroiled in existential crises, in deep pain, and in profound despair. Questions without answers plague them. I share with them, pray with them, and mostly, listen to them, I dare not pontificate, but Seuss said,

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

We have to figure out how to ask the right questions and we will find ourselves closer to the answers.

He encouraged us to face our troubles.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

He encouraged us to be honest with our feelings and words.

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant.”

He encouraged us to learn.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”

He warned us that life is but a vapor and is passing away - thus to embrace today today.

“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”
   
Theodor Geisel died, September 24, 1991. Dr. Seuss lives on.

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

image from images.fanpop.com


Dr. Seuss

Clearly, I overlooked an important birthday this week. I would have missed it entirely if it were not for the reminder of a Toastmaster friend who made Dr. Seuss the theme of this week's meeting.

Theodor Seuss Geisel was born March 2, 1904. 

The world is a happier place because he was here.

He had no children of his own. In fact he said we could have them and he would entertain them, which he did.

Along the way, he tapped into feelings and issues with which children struggle. He acknowledged their questions and became a fellow explorer with them. He mastered the art of writing books that could speak to children and adults at any stage of life.

Dr. Seuss took us to many fascinating places, but left it to us to explore the rest.

I have been doing so since I was a child.

"OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
THERE IS FUN TO BE DONE! THERE ARE
POINTS TO BE SCORED. THERE ARE GAMES TO BE WON."

Theodor Geisel died, September 24, 1991.

More reflections at Life Lessons from Dr. Seuss


The Challenge Today

Perhaps you'd like for me to tell you what it is, this challenge of today - the big one, the definitive one, the one that, if you conquer it, you conquer everything.

Perhaps you want it, but you are unlikely to get it ... not from me ... not from any who tell you they can deliver it ...

Because we don't really know.

I don't know what your big challenge is today. I could boil it down a bit to some vague, pontifical essence, but that would merely cloud the specifics in a haze of philosophical esoterica.

What you are facing is here and now, pressing, and guttural. It is your tailor made challenge. There are some enduring answers, but without framing your questions, you will not be able to apply them with any finesse. 

I predict that you will know what to do with your challenges as you prayerfully and conscientiously consider them, address them, embrace them, and act to respond to them. I predict this because your whole life has been a preparation for this day and the challenges of this day. You possess a unique blend of human and divine resources that God has brought into your life. 

You will know what to do with those resources at the right time.

When you do, I believe you will have the courage to exercise them and that is my prayer, hope, and belief for you.

Act!


Cost of Wisdom

"Though it cost you all you have, get understanding." - Proverbs 4:7b

Wisdom is a costly commodity.

We pay the price in time, heartache, experience, and study as well as money.

Yet, the wise man of old testifies to its enduring value. "It is worth all you have" is his message to those who might cheat themselves out of wisdom's riches.

It might hurt. It might bring you loss. It will cost you something, but get it. Whatever you do, get it.

In a world where we shy away from discomfort and inconvenience, we are admonished to sacrifice very visible treasures for invisible values. We do well to embrace the challenge, lean into our pain, and go for understanding.


How deep could I plunge anyway given the quantity of hot air that occupied every part of my soul?

I am much more likely to float than plumb the depths. To do other requires weight. In Greek, weight is "doxa," from which we get "doxology" and "glory."

The heavier the glory that weighs us down, the deeper we go.


Deep thoughts? Deep words? How much time have I wasted looking and waiting for something deep to say or think when the deep waters are everywhere and everything that exists has unfathomed depts beyond the imagination to be explored?