Try a Little Powerlessness—Pitfalls of Self-Control: Scientific American

We admire self-discipline, but could too much control be a bad thing? By Wray Herbert

Self-control is one of our most cherished values. We applaud those who have the discipline to regulate their appetites and actions, and we try hard to instill this virtue in our children. Think of the marketing slogans that key off the desire for restraint: “Just say no.” “Just do it.” We celebrate the power of the mind to make hard choices, despite our emotions or other temptations, and keep us on course.

But what if we can’t just do it? What if “it” is too difficult or if our strategy for success is misguided? Is it possible that willpower actually might be an obstacle rather than a means to happiness and harmony? Can we have too much of a good thing

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In the last paragraph, the other cites the first idea that came to my mind.The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous has been affirming this notion for decades.

We are powerless over our addictions.

Gerald May in "Addiction and Grace" broadened our understanding of how prevalent addiction really is and how many thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors actually produce the same neurological responses as addictions to alcohol or drugs.

Human reactions to crises, stress, or perceived threat are often autonomic as well. We have the fight and flight dichotomy, neither of which create positive results. The third option is to flow. That takes effort, but also an admission of powerlessness that actually empowers us.

The Master Designer has created us with a capacity to breathe without giving it much thought and to perform thousands of other tasks as well.

For Christians, one application is to learn to walk in the Spirit.

For all, it is to relax and trust that which is within us to make some of the calls.