"They say so is half a lie."

It was Thomas Fuller who penned, ""They say so is half a lie."

Fuller was a year younger than I am now when he died in 1661, but he lived long enough to grasp this reality.

I have as well. I have sensed it for some time.

Those who say, "they say," are really saying, "I think, but I don't want to say that I say.'

In the first place, "they say" is deceptive because it implies that there is a large body of agreement among the masses. If that were true, THEY would have spoken with a louder voice.

In the second place, "they say" is deceptive because it insinuates that "they" have appointed "you" as "their" spokesperson. That is seldom the case.

In the third place, it is deceptive because the speaker is masking his or her own opinion as that of others and taking no responsibility for it or ownership of it. There is a suggestion of neutrality that does not exist.

"They say" is essentially dishonest, divisive, disruptive, and intentionally discouraging to the person being addressed. It is manipulative and passive aggressive in its content and delivery.

So, how does one respond to the "theysayers" and "naysayers?"

One response would be, and courtesy is recommended, "Thank you alerting me to this, but I would like them to tell me what they think. What I am interested in now is what do you think?"

Another would be, "Before you tell me more, can you tell me who they are? It is only fair that I speak with them personally about this since this is their opinion and I cannot ask you to convey my answer to them. I am sure you would agree that would not be an honest way for me to deal with them."

What we must never do is give prolonged audience to this form of gossip and thinly disguised criticism. 

Fuller lived with controversy and was, himself, controversial. Controversy is not a bad thing. It can be very beneficial. Neither is conflict negative. But dishonest communication, murmuring, negative whispers, and third party communication are never productive and never solve problems.

Just as authentic theology is about meeting face to face, so is all human communication.

"They say," is, in fact, a very big lie.