Fatherhood
June 17, 2006
“He who is
taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a
great deal left him does to his father's care “
- William Penn
Not just those who live on little, but each of us is the
beneficiary of someone’s “fatherhood.” In a time when fatherhood is in crisis,
it behooves us to reexamine its impact and mystique.
If the
relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole
earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. – James
Baldwin
It takes a very short time to
create biological fatherhood and it is quite an undemanding exercise. It takes
years, however, to make a real father. And those years are those which lead up
to the moment of conception, that time between conception and birth where a man
considers his commitments, and all the years afterward as he grows and develops
in his role.
In the years that lead up to
conception, the boy becomes a man as he observes other fathers, including his
own, is mentored, admired, and assisted in the unfolding task of manhood. He is
instilled with values, morals, and examples of what fatherhood is all about.
These are the primary formative years in the making of a father.
In that period of time between
conception and birth, a man comes to realize the awesome responsibility he has
undertaken. If he is wise, he asks many questions, reads books, prays, and
thinks more than he has thought for years.
By the
time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who
thinks he's wrong. – Charles Wadsworth
Then, of course, he has the rest
of his life to work it out, to make appropriate corrections, and to adopt
behavior patterns that will prepare him for each new stage of his own sons’ and
daughters’ development and for grand fatherhood.
So, he is never finished with
the process of being made a father. Fortunately, we have a guide, example, and
helper in our Heavenly Father. The task is great, but God is greater. You can be the father God made you to be and
help train the next generation of fathers. Along the way, there are some
positive steps any man can take toward becoming a better equipped father:
q Cultivate personal spiritual
disciplines that you can model for the children in your life. Be a life-long
disciple of Jesus Christ. Nothing will prepare you better for fatherhood.
q Make prayer, first a centerpiece
of your life, and then, of your home. Pray openly, honestly, and passionately
about everything.
q Be consistent. Maintain a life
of integrity so that there is agreement between what you profess and what you
practice.
q Show affection and healthy
emotion. It is the manly thing to do.
q Walk what you talk and talk what
you walk. Give visual and verbal witness to the gospel.
Look
Look in those
eyes
That look to
you
In trusting
love.
Look deeply and
See the role
that
Fits you as a
glove.
You are his
Dad.
You are her
Father
And should you
outlive your usefulness in every other dimension
Of what we so
flippantly call life,
You will never
grow so old or so feeble
That this will
not be your child and you the hero of every hour.
© 2005, Thomas
B. Sims, All rights reserved
Photo: Gaze - Used by
permission of Máté Bugár